Women are constantly popping into my head. On my walk to work, at my office at work, on my lunch break at work, when I’m off work – frankly, if I’m awake, there’s a pretty solid chance that I’m thinking about one woman or another.
Sometimes I’m thinking about all the women I wish I had a chance with. Other times, it’s the ones I wish I didn’t blow my chances with.
Still, as the cliché goes – there are plenty of fish in the sea – and my thoughts are always on the next haul, and, hopefully, the right fish.
Well, over time, with each new experience, we become better fishermen. We understand which qualities work for the long haul, and which qualities suit cordial “one-night” things.
There’s a learning curve, but after having your heart broken – and breaking a few hearts, in the process – you’ll see your dating priorities do a complete 180.
While aesthetic allure is not something to run away from, there are tons of non-superficial qualities found in women that are equally as arousing – if only you paid attention.
Next time you get caught looking down at the wrong part of a lady, keep this list in mind. I’ve put together the list of 8 non-superficial qualities women have that are attractive to any trill man.
She has clear goals.
If a girl’s most immediate goals revolve around her “like-per-minute” ratio on Instagram, she probably isn’t much deeper than the surface of the iPhone that’s glued to her palm. Which is fine, but that isn’t going to keep me around.
Goals show self-awareness. Setting goals shows that you know who you are today, and who you want to be, tomorrow. They also show that you’re ambitious, and mature enough to define your own wants from life – and yourself.
I want to see what sparks your own flame, even if it isn’t something you would deem noteworthy or even all that interesting. Whether you like them or not, your goals will sketch the framework for your future (so, hopefully, you do like them).
She has a curiosity for culture.
Different cultures provide different experiences, and ultimately life is nothing more than the sum of your experiences – so why would you want to limit yourself?
Being open to different cultures shows humility, and daringness. There is nothing less attractive than people who are unwilling to try things “just because.” That shows me you’re single-minded and, more importantly, you’re boring.
The sexiest girl will always be the one who’s most comfortable when wandering outside of her comfort zones.
She has an interest in music.
Frankly, a girl’s taste in music can tell you a lot about her. Sure, like with all things, there are exceptions – and it’s still very possible I end up marrying a girl with a high affinity for Taylor Swift (well, maybe not very possible, but it is possible).
But, for me, your taste in music isn’t necessarily defined by what, specifically, it is you’re listening to, but rather what it means to you.
Good music is measured by its ability to resonate with each individual listener, in his or her own unique way – and apathy towards such a powerful tool of expression seems, I don’t know, dull. Find someone you can connect with through music. Because when there are times when words seem to be at a premium – music will always be there to fill in the silence, literally and figuratively.
She has standards, for herself and for her friends.
When I start talking to a woman, the first thing I check for is her standards. In general. Her standards for herself, her standards for the people she surrounds herself with – her standards for the way other people treat her.
Attractive women don’t let anyone walk on them, and they make that known far in advance, in the most tasteful way possible.
Having standards doesn’t show a superiority complex, it shows that she has a desire for control over the elements within her life. She understands her own self-worth – and she holds herself to that standard.
She’s close with her family.
You can tell a lot about the future of your relationship with some lady by the way she treats her own family. An importance placed within the home tells you instantly that her priorities have not become jaded.
It’s very easy to become fixated on your own day-to-day life, and lose sight of the people who were there since day one: your family.
When a girl remains close with her family, it shows me that she’s loyal, and not ensnared by whatever, or whoever, the “flavor of the month” might be.
Sometimes she just says, “Oh, f*ck it.”
I need a girl who every now and then just says, “f*ck it.” Whether it be skipping work to ride around with me on a nice autumn day, or booking an impromptu trip somewhere – I believe firmly that spontaneity is the key to maintaining healthy relationships.
Over time, by following the same monotonous routine, sh*t just gets old – even with people you love. That’s just human nature. When you find a girl who can keep you guessing, hold on to her, even if she has you ripping your hair out.
She has her own hobbies.
Women with hobbies are sexy, even if those hobbies are, I don’t know, stamp-collecting. It doesn’t really matter. All hobbies come from a place of passion, and when looking for a woman to keep in your life – why not look for a passionate one?
Hobbies also emphasize a “life” outside of her own relationship with you. While everyone loves to say, “Ugh, we spend all day together,” that sounds like a recipe for disaster. Relationships work better when they’re simply that – relationships – as opposed to obsessions.
Find a girl whose interests aren’t solely confined to the DM folder on your Twitter account, or the four-digit security code on your iPhone.
She holds her own in conversation.
Sure, finding a girl who’s skilled in bed is something of an accomplishment, but finding a girl with stellar conversational skills is much rarer. It’s not that difficult for a lot of women to wear provocatively-fitting clothes, and instantly steal your attention.
To be honest, that’s never really impressed me. Having said that, when a girl can drive me crazy just from how she talks to me – that’s the essence of attraction.
Conversational skills are like a painter’s brush set. Don’t strap yourself to a woman carrying around a few Crayola crayons.
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